Don't Apologize
by loverof naley
Summary: Lucas/Lindsey conversation I am begging to see onscreen.WARNING!, It's also anti Peyton/Leyton and I guess Lucas.


**Hello again people! gasp Yes, I'm back. I haven't found the motivation of late to write until now. Hopefully this will throw me back into the thick of things and get mojo going for my next full story.**

**Anyway this little one shot came about through my extreme frustration from the show. It is based around Lucas/Lindsey. I hated the way things worked out for them(coming from a Brucas fan).I'm also writing this off the premise of Lucas writing the full truth in his first novel about him and Peyton sneaking around behind Brooke's back. Since Lucas conveniently never found out the complete truth about why Brooke broke up with him season 4(Thank You Mark Schwahn!) I can't add Lindsey knowing about that huge detail into this since Lucas really doesn't know. I've always believed that book plus it's stupidly titled sequel was ONE of the biggest pieces of BS OTH has ever put forth.**

**Note of WARNING!-I am NOT a Peyton/Leyton fan. The few times that I could actually stomach Peyton are few and very far between so reader BEWARE! It will not be kind!**

**THANKS TORI!:)**

Lindsey Evelyn Strauss sat inside of her plush immaculate office in the heart of Times Square peeling through the current transcripts of what she hoped would be the next up and comer onto the best seller list. Her newest client showed such tremendous promise that even the mere thought of his potential sent chills of excitement down her spine with joy and anticipation. Pierce Collins was a damn mastermind of brilliance and a master champion of storytelling.

His words were nothing short of brilliant and superlative as each word, each sentence, and each paragraph jumped out from the white pages luring you into a pretend world of love, honor, and betrayal through the eyes of one woman destined for greatness.

If not for the supreme knowledge of her subconscious telling her this magic were nothing but made up pieces of fiction, Lindsey would have somehow found herself fully entranced among the emotions brought forth in the form of heartache she felt with each failure or the pleasure with each triumph as the heroin overcame every obstacle to see her well deserved happy ending.

Placing the neatly stacked papers down she wiped a few unshed tears from her eyes, a small smile gracing her lips. She'd always been a happy ending romantic type of girl. Reading the emotional story stirred up not only feelings of exhilaration but some of pure regret regarding her own recently failed attempt at love.

Quickly shaking her head to rid herself of those painful thoughts, she eyed her laptop with deep sadness and sorrow. Her memories immediately flooding back to the reason she threw herself so entirely into the mind of her young protégé's current most anticipated work of art.

If she could escape from the pain of editing the latest chapter of "The Comet" she would gladly take it in a heartbeat. To be constantly swept up into words that unmistakably caused the downfall of her relationship and unimaginable pain. The words of a man she loved so completely, so unselfishly were only further proof that the good, the honest, the ones who did the right things in life always lost out in the end. Life wasn't some romance novel where the evil and dishonest never prevailed and the bad guys got their desserts in the end. It was bull crap. Evil, deceitful, and dishonest always won, her current situation was a big example of that.

Lindsey hated how bitter that made her become. She was naturally a positive person with a bright outlook, but when people screwed you over without a care a person tended to harden and become cynical in their overall perspective for life.

Once again shaken from her thoughts this time by the loud buzzing of her intercom, Lindsey flinched from being startled so unexpectedly. She reached her manicured hand across her crowded desk pushing the small black button to activate the small speaker box.

"What is it, Diane?" Lindsey asked of her older secretary.

"Sorry to bother you, Miss Strauss", Diane started. She had been previously alerted to put all things on hold until further notice.

"It's ok. What can I do for you?"

"Well I just wanted to let you know your 12 o'clock is here a few minutes early. Should I send him in now?" she asked.

With a heavy sigh Lindsey contemplated making him wait the extra fifteen minutes until his actual appointment time. In her heart she wanted to be anywhere but there. Prolonging the inevitable would not change their face to face meeting whether she wanted to or not. Lindsey figured getting this over as quickly as possible would be the best solution for everyone involved.

"Diane, send him in" she said letting go of the button.

"Sure thing, Miss Strauss."

Lindsey immediately began fidgeting uncomfortably in her leather seat shifting from side to side as she wiped the thin layer of sweat from her forehead. Seeing him again after so many months would definitely be hard on her just as she was trying to put her life back together. In fact it was probably the second most difficult thing she had to do after walking away from him the first time.

A small tap sounding onto the hardwood door halted her movements making her wish she could dissolve into the essence of the chair. If only she could disappear. With a brave breath Lindsey opened her mouth granting entrance into her office.

"Come in" Lindsey yelled. Her voice sounded shaky and she hoped with everything inside of her that he couldn't tell how nervous she was. He didn't deserve that from her, not one bit.

"Hello Lindsey" he greeted. His pale blue eyes piercing through her very being. He wore dark colored jeans and a whole button up top.

Their eyes met for the first time with so many emotions swirling around. Lindsey could tell he was really nervous just by the way he toyed with the band around his wrist more and more with each breath held.

"Lucas", she said trying to keep her voice neutral and devoid of feeling. "Have a seat" she offered waving her hand toward the chair across from her.

Sitting for a few silent minutes both spoke simultaneously before releasing small nervous chuckles.

"So…" they both drawled out.

"You can go" she offered.

"No, you" Lucas said not really knowing how to handle being in the same room with her once again.

"Ok. Well our main goal for meeting today was so that we could go over the book tour, schedule dates, times, etc. We need you ready and available at a moments notice."

"Sure" he said noticing she never looked at him once. She just continued to look through a large pile of papers in front of her.

"Great. Now it will be a ten city thing spanning across two months starting in two weeks. It should be your main concern in life from now until the end of November.

"I…" Lucas tried to cut in but Lindsey kept talking without missing a beat.

"It's promote, promote, promote. We need all the press possible if the book is to be a success."

"Lindsey" Lucas said. "I can't do it."

For the first time in a while since he arrived she made eye contact with him with a confused expression etched on her face.

"What do you mean you can't do it?" she wondered aloud. "You have no choice."

"It's just that Peyton and I are getting married next month…." he immediately stopped seeing her face drop. "Sorry."

She sat quiet. Words not even able to form sensible sentences and thoughts.

Lucas looked on worriedly wishing he could've kept his big mouth shut.

"Say something, Linds. Please" he begged.

"Congratulations. Now as I was saying you need to make all these dates…."

"Lindsey, Lindsey, LINDSEY!" he yelled when she kept talking.

"WHAT!" she yelled back.

'Will you stop talking about book tours? I just told you I'm getting married and all you have to say is 'Congratulations'".

"What do you want me to say?" she challenged.

"I want you to tell me what a jerk I am .Yell at me, scream, cry."

She let out a crazed laugh before sobering herself to see he was completely serious.

"My, do we think highly of our self. You want me to yell, scream, cry? I never knew you were such an egotistical person. I wouldn't dare give you the satisfaction."

"Lindsey I didn't mean it like that, I swear."

"How did you mean it?"

"I just want to know how you feel. What's on your mind?" he asked.

"How I feel? You don't want to know the answer to that Lucas, I guarantee. As far as what's on my mind. Lots."

"I do. I wouldn't asked if I didn't"

"Go home to your fiancé, Lucas" she spat.

"DAMN IT, LINDSEY! Don't do this. I'm trying to be honest here. All I want is for you to do the same."

"You want honesty? FINE!" she yelled. "I HATE HER FUCKING GUTS! From the moment she stepped foot back in Tree Hill her goal was to steal you away from me. How stupid was I thinking we could actually be friends. I offered her an olive branch and she spit on me like I was trash. She took my kindness and used it against me until I became someone I didn't even know."

"Peyton is a conniving backstabbing bitch, Lucas. If that's the type of woman you want to spend your life with then go right ahead and have her. I was such a fool believing she was this loving honest women when the real Peyton was staring me right in the damn face. I mean gosh Luke, you wrote a whole damn chapter about how you both betrayed Brooke. I thought it was an adolescent immature mistake. But who was I kidding, I knew. If Peyton could betray her so called "best friend" she said using her fingers as quotes" then I would be nothing in comparison. She whined, bitched, and cried to anyone who would listen about wanting you back. It's not enough the whole damn world is on her side….but so were you. That hurt me most."

"I'm sorry" Lucas said.

"Don't say that to me. You know the most screwed up part of it all, Luke? Is that a person who showed outright disregard for me, the woman you were supposed to love, she's now getting everything I've ever dreamed of with you. How she didn't care that we spent years building what we had. She did everything in her power to get you back. She won, Lucas. SHE WON!" she cried no longer in control of her emotions. Tears burned down her face at rapid speed.

"I'm sorry" he apologized again.

"You're sorry alright" Lindsey bitterly said. "You are not the man I thought you were. You rewarded her again for bad behavior. She knew you would too. Cause little old poor Peyton is the victim forever in your mind and in hers. You're always there to save her. People always leave…sure. Nice lesson, Luke. I'm sure Peyton and your future kids will learn very well. God help them if she is their example!"

"Who the hell cares how someone behaves in life if true love is the goal, right? Well I'd rather be alone and hurting than to ever be like that BACKSTABBING BITCH!" she screamed. "I have my dignity and self respect. Can she say that? There is nothing good about someone like her. No morals, not a shred of decency. She's able to justify giving the devil a glass of water if it helped her in some way. And the gall to try and make me believe she's sorry for all she did. Of course she is now… she has you. I will never forgive her for what she did. I won't forgive you. You wanted truth, Lucas? There is your god dam truth" she said wiping her tears.

Lindsey knew she was being mean but the hurt she felt inside was nothing compared to what she said to him.

Lucas face contorted in regret as he watched her trying to regain her lost breaths. He could tell his presence was not helping so he decided to leave…it was the least he could do.

"You didn't deserve that Linds" he said sincerely as she continued to cry.

"Well if we all got what we deserve than you and Peyton would be miserable souls! Get out of my office!" she pointed.

Lucas made his way toward the door before halting to say one last thing.

"I know you may not forgive me but I'm genuinely sorry for all the pain and heartache I've caused. You were my rock for so long. I never meant for this to happen."

And then he left closing behind another part of his life. He stood outside her door listening to the devastated sobs coming from Lindsey. He wanted so bad to make things better for her but he knew that he couldn't. He hurt another innocent person that loved him so much. Lindsey Strauss was a remarkable woman who was now suffering because of his shortcomings. How did he have a happy life knowing the hurt he thrust upon another?

Lindsey was right about one thing…..him and Peyton were scum.

**Sucky ending I know. HAHA!**


End file.
